As I'm sure you'll soon discover, I am a very passionate person. At least, I'm a very passionate person when it comes to specific subjects.
One of those subjects is marriage. There are few things that break my heart like the 'I'm committed 'til bored, things get hard, kids change things or fall out of love' marriage that seems to plague our modern day society. Our nations attitude towards marriage is down right scary! It is so often portrayed as a lifelong prison sentence for men, an old-fashioned custom, or, most scary, a temporary commitment. With that attitude, it's no wonder so many people give up on marriage.
I'll be the first to admit, marriage is not what I expected. It's not always a lovey-dovey, hand held walks on a sunset beach, fireworks in my soul, stars in my eyes situation. In fact, after 4 years of marriage it is rarely those things. And thank goodness! I'd hate to be perpetually stuck in that honeymoon state! I mean, really, nothing would ever get done and no one could stand being around us. (Apologizes to any newlyweds who may be offended. I promise in a few years and a few kids you'll get over it.)
That kind of infatuation is just a starting place. One that is fun to revisit, but oh so important to improve upon. Because beyond that stage is an incredible opportunity to learn to really love someone. And by love someone, I mean Corinthians 13 love someone. In a patient, kind, non-envious, non-boastful, selfless, forgiving kind of way. In the way that love is meant to be.
It's not easy. Actually, some days, and even some years, it's down right hard and it involves a whole lot of work. And there's absolutely no way to truly love your spouse unless you are willing to sacrifice your own wants, desires and even dreams for their good. I'm not saying you have to give up on all those things or even throw them by the wayside. I'm just saying that you have to be willing to if your spouse needs you to. Because when you die to self and start living for others, wow, that's really living!
It's a process. Marriage, loving, living, growing. When two people get married they're like two different stones with a whole lot of rough edges. Marriage is going to make those stones rub together a whole lot. And the way you rub your spouse is going to determine whether it makes them even sharper and harder or softer and coordinating.
So just take one small step in the right direction. And then another and another. Even if you're the only one walking, keep taking those steps. You'll be amazed at how far it takes you.
.....to be continued.
Well said!
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